Monday, May 7, 2007

Three Stooges, A woman And A Dog

Written by Melody from Slurping Life


"When are you planning to have children?"

"We don't plan to have children." This was my standard response for the first four years of marriage, and it was always met with gasps and appalled faces.

Inevitably the next question, "Why not?"

"It just isn't in our plans" was always my reply...

~~~~~~~~

CRASH...THUMP...SCREECH...KER PLUNK...THUD

"Mooooommmmm!! Mom, help!"

So began the morning...excitement...adrenaline...anticipation...just another day. "Lee, what's going on?" I call down while untangling myself from bed covers and trying to comprehend the sounds that are repeatedly and forcefully coming from below.

CRASH...THUMP...SCREECH...KER PLUNK...THUD

"Boys, are you alright?" I call out.

"Yes, but we need help" Lee yells back.

By this time I have exited the bedroom and am standing at the loft rail overlooking the great room. Which, by the way, no longer looks great. Completely inconsistent with my normal response I freeze. Not my usual run down the stairs jump into the middle of an emergency and take command mode. I flippin' freeze...and stare...and begin laughing...laughing insanely...and cannot stop.

Looking up and seeing my mature response to the situation, Lee bellows, "Mom?! Help us. Do you see what Ursula is doing?" Lee is always the spokesman of the trio. "We can't catch her."

Ursula is our four month old, twenty pound shepherd-chow mix puppy. And she has overturned the kitchen garbage, pulled out the full trash bag and is dragging it along running with the swiftness of a cheetah...clearing all obstacles with the grace of a gazelle. Running with the coordination of a drunken elephant behind her, in front of her, and around her are three boys.

"Mom!" The boys scream in unison. "Help!"

Like this is the worse thing I've seen that involved the three of them. So I make my descent and join the chase. Taking note that there are smashed green peas, pulverized cooked carrots, slimy mashed potatoes and sundry trash items strewn everywhere...everywhere. As the chase continues my size 8 feet are now re-smashing and re-pulverizing peas and carrots...slipping and sliding on mashed potatoes as the four of us try to catch a puppy and her weapon of mass destruction. I round the kitchen island simultaneously hearing the cry, "Mom, watch out!" Too late. I slide across the floor landing face down in a...puddle...of...puppy...puke. But I caught the dog.

"Wow, great catch, mom." cheers Mac.

"I'm hungry" says Wil.

~~~~~~~~

I don't understand why we changed "our plans". One thing's for certain, this is one wild ride and I've never wanted to miss a single minute of it. Well, except the puppy puke.

Melody sucks up the joys of mothering four sons and blogs at Slurping Life. She and her husband raised one son to the age of accountability, but the fun's not over. They adopted three more boys. The three younger boys have many years remaining at home. Her special purpose (needs) boys and their zest for life promise to keep Melody busy until death...theirs or hers...whichever comes first.

blockquote>

10 comments:

Suburban Oblivion said...

How funny!!!! We've had moments like that here! ;)

jennifergg said...

Some of life's best journeys are the "sidetrips" we never expected to take...thanks for the reminder!

natalie said...

Melody,

That is hilarious. I read your story outloud to my husband and even he's laughing. We can completely understand the puppy story as we have similar ones of our 90 lb chocolate lab.

I'd love to hear one day how you went from "no children in our plans" to having four smashing sons.

Looking forward to more contributions.
Your faithful follower,
Natalie

Marie said...

There is nothing like being a mother. Nothing else I have ever done in life has ever quite come up to the satisfaction or brought me as much joy as my role as a mother! Every day brought new challenges to be met, new joys to be experienced and savoured and now, as my children are all grown up, precious memories to take out and hold in my hands from time to time. Thanks for sharing this lovely story with us Melody!

Surviving Motherhood said...

ah, puppy sick, I know it well!

~ Angels With A Purpose ~ said...

I Love reading your blogs. How funny. I can't wait till my husband gets home to share this with him. Thank you for sharing this. What a way to start a morning. Isn't it great to be a mom!

God Bless you,
JEN

melody said...

Thanks everyone for visiting my first post here.

Yeah, as the saying goes "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans" and I'm proof of that.

Mama Zen said...

This is so funny! And, I have to know: did the puppy survive this adventure? I'm not sure mine would have!

Stacy said...

Ah Melody, that is funny! I'm glad you were able to see the humor of the moment instead of the mess...not sure if my reaction would have been that of laughter. :) There's a reason we don't have a puppy right now, and you so eloquently have made my case for it!

christinator said...

I have loved reading your words at Slupring Life...and how I will enjoy reading them here. What a story! I love your way with words (and pictures!), and your perspective on life.

Featured Post and Blog of the Week



You Are Here

by Amie from
MammaLoves...


You did well in school to get into college. You tried to get by well enough in college to be attractive to an employer or graduate program, and along the way you may have opened your heart a time or two. Maybe you even found true love.

With a foot in the door, the first years of work were the time to
prove your mettle once again. Promotions, raises all with the goal to secure your future will allow you to settle down, buy a house, travel, commit to a relationship, have kids or not. In what feels like a blink of an eye, your future is here.

And now what?


Read the full post...

Chance Favors Only Those Who Court Her

by Debbie from Missives from Suburbia


After a less-than-friendly divorce, I was on the market again. Seizing the opportunity, my friends scoured their address books and Palm Pilots for single men and set me up on blind date after blind date. My reaction to most of those dates was, "I call these people my FRIENDS?" One of my real friends suggested Match.com, and given how much I love the Internet, I gave it a go.

A couple months of e-dating passed by in a blink. It was fun, but so far nothing meaningful had hit my radar, and my match inventory was starting to run low. You see, Match.com "matches" you to people based on a list of your requirements, and I'd pretty much run through all my existing matches who didn't seem psycho or stoned, based on their profiles.

Then, one day, I got an email from a guy who was not a match by my standards...

Read the full post...

A Lost Opportunity

by John from Altjiranga Mitjina


Trying to break in as a writer in the comic book industry can be a bit like the one legged man in a butt kicking contest. Every step forward you make means you land on your butt after your kick forward. Comic books are a visual medium. An artist can bring a portfolio to an editor at a convention and said editor can sit there and look at it within minutes and decide if this artist is worthy of working on the newest issue of Stupendous Man or not. Trying being a hopeful writer handing over a script to this same editor at a busy comic convention. You’ll be lucky if the editor agrees to take the script and promise that they’ll look at it later. Most times the hopeful writer is told to send for their submission guidelines and mail in their proposal.

The best way for a writer is to find an aspiring artist and hook up...

Read the full post...

Jesus Toothpaste!

by Karen Rayne from Adolescent Sexuality Today with Karen Rayne, Ph.D.


This weekend I went out of town, leaving my family to fend for themselves. On Saturday, my darling husband took my two darling daughters – 6 and 3 years old – to what he heard was a fun new toy store in town. Great, right?

They walk in the door, and the 6-year-old pipes up with “Look, Daddy! Jesus toothpaste!” He takes one look, puts one hand on each girl’s shoulder, and does a 180 out of the store. It may be a fun new toy store, but it’s intended clientele does not include the under-13 set.

When I got home on Sunday, the first thing the 6-year-old says to me was, “Guess what! We saw Jesus toothpaste!” I blinked, figuring I hadn’t heard her correctly. Regrettably, I had...

Read the full post...

A biker, a green thumb, a cracked hand, and a Queen.

by Megan from Velveteen Mind, originally guest posted at Queen of Spain


A random biker on a Harley-Davidson took my picture last week. What I wanted to do was take his picture, but I hesitated. Now, instead of a photo of some random biker holding an i am bossy.com bumper sticker, all I have is a lame photo of me holding the bumper sticker and the mental picture of him riding off into the sunset, never to be seen again.

Okay, it wasn’t as romantic or dramatic as that. It was nine in the morning and there was no sunset.

This is not the first time that I have hesitated to seize an opportunity. I don’t expect it will be the last. However, I hope with each lost chance for something intriguing, I will lose a shade of that hesitation for next time...

Read the full post...