Three Stooges, A woman And A Dog

Written by Melody from Slurping Life


"When are you planning to have children?"

"We don't plan to have children." This was my standard response for the first four years of marriage, and it was always met with gasps and appalled faces.

Inevitably the next question, "Why not?"

"It just isn't in our plans" was always my reply...

~~~~~~~~

CRASH...THUMP...SCREECH...KER PLUNK...THUD

"Mooooommmmm!! Mom, help!"

So began the morning...excitement...adrenaline...anticipation...just another day. "Lee, what's going on?" I call down while untangling myself from bed covers and trying to comprehend the sounds that are repeatedly and forcefully coming from below.

CRASH...THUMP...SCREECH...KER PLUNK...THUD

"Boys, are you alright?" I call out.

"Yes, but we need help" Lee yells back.

By this time I have exited the bedroom and am standing at the loft rail overlooking the great room. Which, by the way, no longer looks great. Completely inconsistent with my normal response I freeze. Not my usual run down the stairs jump into the middle of an emergency and take command mode. I flippin' freeze...and stare...and begin laughing...laughing insanely...and cannot stop.

Looking up and seeing my mature response to the situation, Lee bellows, "Mom?! Help us. Do you see what Ursula is doing?" Lee is always the spokesman of the trio. "We can't catch her."

Ursula is our four month old, twenty pound shepherd-chow mix puppy. And she has overturned the kitchen garbage, pulled out the full trash bag and is dragging it along running with the swiftness of a cheetah...clearing all obstacles with the grace of a gazelle. Running with the coordination of a drunken elephant behind her, in front of her, and around her are three boys.

"Mom!" The boys scream in unison. "Help!"

Like this is the worse thing I've seen that involved the three of them. So I make my descent and join the chase. Taking note that there are smashed green peas, pulverized cooked carrots, slimy mashed potatoes and sundry trash items strewn everywhere...everywhere. As the chase continues my size 8 feet are now re-smashing and re-pulverizing peas and carrots...slipping and sliding on mashed potatoes as the four of us try to catch a puppy and her weapon of mass destruction. I round the kitchen island simultaneously hearing the cry, "Mom, watch out!" Too late. I slide across the floor landing face down in a...puddle...of...puppy...puke. But I caught the dog.

"Wow, great catch, mom." cheers Mac.

"I'm hungry" says Wil.

~~~~~~~~

I don't understand why we changed "our plans". One thing's for certain, this is one wild ride and I've never wanted to miss a single minute of it. Well, except the puppy puke.

Melody sucks up the joys of mothering four sons and blogs at Slurping Life. She and her husband raised one son to the age of accountability, but the fun's not over. They adopted three more boys. The three younger boys have many years remaining at home. Her special purpose (needs) boys and their zest for life promise to keep Melody busy until death...theirs or hers...whichever comes first.

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