Issue 17

Welcome to Issue 17!

This week we not only bring you your usual fare of great writing and reviews but also a little love. The Love offering in question is going on over at Slurping Life where, when you donate a little to Parker this week, you will get entered into a prize draw for some amazing stuff.

We bring you 3 great offerings from our theme writers this week:
Amanda from The wink with Imperfect in Perfections Shadow
Mama Zen from The Zen of Motherhood with Dear Editor
The Good Woman from My Wee Scottish Blog with Packing on the Inside

An intriguing Words and Pictures post by Lady MacLeod from Braveheart Does The Maghreb

A blog review of Modern Musings by Liz from Three Bright Stars

A music review on Ani Difranco (playing on the player below) by John from Altjiranga Mitjina

and what might possibly be the start of a new interview column here at TopBlogMag, we have Melody from Slurping Life interviewing Parkers Mom, Tammy, about Parker, his problems and how we can help.

This weeks theme: Thinking About

Feature Post

Imperfect in Perfection's Shadow

Written by Amanda from The Wink


I am human, imperfect and, at times, guilty of envy. As a parent I make choices every day, most of which I feel damn good about. I buy organic foods, incorporate exercise and time outside into day-to-day life (Look great, feel great, everybody wins.). I work assiduously to ensure that my girls, ages 1 and 3, have no self-image issues trickle down from me via fat days and bad hair days (which, considering the infrequency with which I visit a hairdresser, is increasingly difficult)...

Click here to read the full post

Imperfect in Perfection's Shadow

Written by Amanda from The Wink


I am human, imperfect and, at times, guilty of envy. As a parent I make choices every day, most of which I feel damn good about. I buy organic foods, incorporate exercise and time outside into day-to-day life (Look great, feel great, everybody wins.). I work assiduously to ensure that my girls, ages 1 and 3, have no self-image issues trickle down from me via fat days and bad hair days (which, considering the infrequency with which I visit a hairdresser, is increasingly difficult)..

I have a full time job and freelance on the side to make ends meet. I choose to be affectionate and honest with my husband in front of the girls, wanting them to know a model for relationships that incorporates friendship, passion and compromise (He's cute, I'm lucky, it's easy). I've made some serious mistakes if the reports about tv before 2 and not being home full time are to be believed. I try not to dwell on those things, I mean my three year old says, "Ayudame" when she needs help and Avery can say "Jupiter", so Little Einsteins and Dora can't be all bad.

Sometimes I make little missteps in life, but I try to do the right thing. Lately I've been reading a lot about what other people are doing, whether it's a mom struggling with how to the greatest fight in her life or a woman planning her wedding (This one I haven't so much read as been force fed). While I will cop to a bit of stuff envy...$400 jeans? $600 hair cuts? Villas? Trainers? Help? Sign me up! One thing has become very clear to me in the last few months: If a $2 million dollar wedding and face shellacked with make-up and a figure held up by a veritable pit crew is perfection, then I am just fine with my frizzy, soft in spots life with two kids in diapers and a husband who occasionally makes me crazy.

So Eva can have her OK! photo shoots and Entertainment Tonight feature segments, I'll take my platform over at The Wink, if you ever feel like reading about toilet back ups and toddler tantrums instead of sequins and Bentleys, pop on over, no need to dress up, just be yourself.

Dear Editor

Written by Mama Zen from The Zen of Motherhood

Editor

Top Blog Mag

Dear Editor,

I recently received your call for submissions for the upcoming issue of Top Blog Mag. While I find “Thinking About” to be an intriguing theme with numerous possibilities, I’m afraid that I must decline to participate at this time.

You see, dear Editor, when I started thinking about what I’m thinking about, I found that I couldn’t think of a damn thing! Some would call it writer’s block, I guess. I prefer to think of it as having an uncluttered mind.

Anyway, I tried, I really did. I tried funny. I’m a stay-at-home mom; I trip over funny all day long. Just this morning, I caught my daughter beating the dog with a foam baseball bat. When I scolded her, she indignantly informed me, “Snoopy is pretending to be a piñata!” Great source material, but I just couldn’t make it work.

I tried serious. God knows there’s plenty of serious stuff to write about. Young men and women, barely out of their teens, dying overseas in a war that . . .oh wait, the electricians here. OK, and the current administration just keeps . . .hang on, telephone. And the hypocrisy of the whole Scooter . . .”coming!” Now, how the hell am I supposed to focus on the burning issues of our time, when I can barely concentrate on not burning the pork chops?

Finally, I tried personal. I don’t really do a lot of personal. I don’t write about the sweet, slow burn of whiskey. Or the twilight breeze against my bare back. Or mumbled words. Or fumbled buttons. Or the peculiar restlessness that seems to strike me this time of year. I just don’t. Too many people do personal far better than I do, so I just leave it alone.

As you can see, dear Editor, I am in writer’s hell. All I can think about is that blank screen taunting me and daring me to just try and fill it. And, I got nothing. Nothing at all.

I apologize for any inconvenience, and good luck with the upcoming issue.

Sincerely,

Mama Zen

When she’s not rescuing puppies or starting kitchen fires, Mama Zen blogs through her writer’s block at The Zen of Motherhood.

Packing on the Inside

Written by The Good Woman from My Wee Scottish Blog

I've been packing. Sorting our things into neat piles – keep, recycle, discard. Different boxes with different destinations. And I've been thinking, wouldn't it be good if we could do this with our memories too.

I'd keep Bambi's milestones in a special box marked 'fragile', because already I find myself struggling to remember how sweet she looked with just two teeth protruding from her bottom gum, the exact pronunciation of her first words, the soaring pride of her first steps.

I'd hang onto every moment of affection, love and kindness shared with family and friends. I will need this box often in the first months in a new place. And I would build it of rubber, with the hope that it will expand over the months and years that follow.

I'd definitely keep all the laughter. This box should under no circumstances be soundproof – the hoots, guffaws, giggles and chortles should be readily available at all times.

In a transparent box in the corner will be the memories of the difficult times. I'm tempted to throw this box away but the lessons it contains were costly and more valuable for it. So I'll keep them safe for reference later, but neatly compartmentalised and observed from afar. Insurance on this box will be expensive.

I'd recycle all the practical stuff. The 'how to's' of moving house, settling in and making a home away from home. This box would be big and sturdy, full of frequently thumbed manuals. It would contain the things I know to be true. This box would go somewhere prominent, for others to refer to as required. There is no reason for anyone else to have to learn these things the hard way – I will share them freely on request.

I think I should also recycle my mistakes and failings. It's a hard box to pack but I've learnt what I can from its contents – maybe someone else can use these memories without having to repeat them. And that would bring me great comfort.

What memories will I discard? Should I throw away the days I felt depressed, the moments of anger and frustration? Should I bottle the tears I have shed and pour them away for ever? Or should I put them in a corner to fade, only thought of during spring cleaning – or when I can be bothered to visit the attic?

Sadly, we cannot choose the memories we discard. Usually, it's the in between days that fade away completely – the filler between times of true happiness and complete despair. Sometimes its the extremes – the intensity of labour pain, the anxiety of loss. If we're lucky, the moments of intense joy remain. And if we're really lucky we live in anticipation of many more to come – a replenishing supply of happiness.

So I'll discard as little as possible and hope it all comes along for the ride. When it comes to memories, it's best not to travel too light.

The Good Woman is a South African expat currently preparing to move from Scotland to Kenya. Visit her at her soon-to-be-renamed Wee Scottish Blog.

Blog Review: Modern Musings

The Blog: Modern Musings by Danielle

The Reviewer: Liz Medwid from ThreeBrightStars

First impressions: The overall style is appealing, but lack of consistency in format and content is an irritation throughout the blog.

Also, when a writer expounds about something important, such as society or politics, I want to know why I should bump someone off my daily reading list to add them, in particular: what gives them authority in their subject area. It could be education, experience, family history, peer accolades, success in their field, or anything else.

Danielle doesn’t reveal her background in politics. She calls herself “a woman, a mother, a wife, a student, a writer, a poet, a seeker and a member of the global human society” yet she wants “to facilitate grassroots ‘Intelligence Gathering’ concerning prominent issues facing America.” I’m just one of those people who needs to know where a writer is coming from before I can take them seriously. (Note: In an email, Danielle revealed that she has her associate degrees in history and anthropology, and this detail would help the average reader.)

Design: Online readers have short attention spans: readable lines should be short, and blog conventions like hyperlinks should be clear and predictable. Musings doesn’t have a right margin and as a result, the blog entries are a bit too wide for on-screen reading. In-text hyperlinks are also too long, so that although the choice of hot pink is eye-catching, the goal of each link is hard to determine.

Formatting between blog entries should also be consistent, but Danielle is guided by some mysterious outside force from entry to entry. Some entries are left-aligned, some are centered, some have adequate inter-line spacing, some are spaced to make you squint at the screen from a foot away, sometimes font size looks normal, and sometimes it screams at you – and none of these variations seem deliberately chosen to illustrate a point.

The sidebar contains some interesting accolades and endorsements, which add notions to her otherwise mysterious identity, but organization and restraint would improve things here as well. Danielle forces the reader to slog through seemingly random links before a clear picture emerges.

Content: Modern Musings is a mess of memes and quotes. For the first-time reader, it can be difficult to ascertain whether the voice is Danielle’s or a Center for American Progress Action Fund talking point. Readers expect the hyperlinks to imply a single reference, with the remaining text being the blog author’s – and in Musings, this is usually not the case. The reference is there, but until you hit on it, nothing in the formatting suggests that the interstitial voice is not Danielle’s. I’m sure this effect is unintentional, but in a political blog, sloppy references seriously undermine the author’s credibility in the mind of the reader.

Best and Worst: The overall style, including color choices and base font, give it a fresh appeal. Danielle’s raw enthusiasm is also winsome.

Improvement tips:

1. If you want a general readership to take your social and political commentary seriously, you need to abandon the shield of anonymity and reveal all relevant credentials.
2. Format your blog with relentless consistency. Readers love that.
3. Your picture and profile should top the sidebar, since they are the most interesting and important aspects of your profile. Then, organize your charitable or political endorsements beneath one heading, your accolades and accomplishments in another heading, etc, to help readers visualize you more quickly.
4. Use clearer formatting to distinguish between your own analysis and that of other writers. Also, let us hear more from Danielle, and less from memes and quotes!

Blogroll worthy? Not yet.

Overall Score:

Part I of the adventure in Tadra Gorge

Written by Lady MacLeod from Braveheart Does the Maghreb

I looked straight up and all I could see was rock, pinkish rock with sides so smooth it looked like a carving. The walls shoot up 300 meters of brown limestone and I could feel the heat of the day locked in the rock and pulsing outward. The wind coming off the water carrying the spray was cooling me like a fan. It was after two, the sun had passed overhead and the temperature had plummeted like a rock. I was actually shivering. After having spent the day feeling like a piece of chocolate melting and leaking out the sides of the packaging, it was bliss. “Feeling better are you?”

“Mercy yes. I'm afraid I don’t do well in the heat,” I said as I stood there still dripping and wiping my face with his kerchief.

“That really begs the question of why you have decided to stay in Morocco,” Hassan laughed. God he has great teeth. Sorry I have a real thing for great teeth and a nice tight bum (Q just read ahead if you roll your eyes any further back you could lose them).

‘Many reasons not the least of which is that I love the people here,” I said feeling decidedly cooler and more articulate. I think my powers of verbalization decrease as the temperature increases. I bent down in a squat and rinsed my arms and neck in the very cold river water.

“We best turn back here if I am going to get you back in time to feed the cat. The airport in Rabat won’t allow landings after six-thirty and we need to have lunch and pick up Ali. We can have tea on the plane if that’s alright,” he said taking my arm and helping me over the rocks. Yes, yes I didn’t need the help, but I ‘m not completely stupid!

It all began with a walk to the market on Saturday when I decided to take my cherries (of which there is a bounty and they are magnificent) over to the park. I am sitting on a bench eating my cherries and watching the people, like you do, when I spot coming toward me a cutout from “world’s yummiest men”. In the heat he was wearing a three piece Saville Row suit complete with red power tie. He looked as though he was walking through a fall day in London, not ninety degree heat in Morocco. I was dressed in my gold djellaba with the black trim and black linen trousers. Thank the gods I had just done my hair! I don’t think my makeup had melted off just yet.

“You are not a tourist,” he said sitting down beside me. He spoke in English with a soft Moroccan accent. When Moroccans speak English it’s like they polish the words first like a river rock, takes all the rough edges off.

“No, are you?” I said being a smartass.

“No, but I am visiting Rabat. I'm taking my plane down to Quarzazate tomorrow and I wondered if you would like to come along and visit the Todra gorge. I hate to fly alone. You are Lady Macleod are you not?” He had the look of someone who had just said, “gotcha”.

“Yes, but how would you know that?” Now I was really interested and not a little nervous. I am pretty sure I had managed not to have my mouth hanging open.

My son attends university in America and his friend from Fez told him about your blog and he read it. He wrote me to ask if I knew you.”

“If you KNEW me? Like a celebrity? Oh my giddy aunt!” I really had no idea how to react to this. Morocco is not that small a country.

‘Yes. Exactly like that really. He told me where to find you on Facebook so I would know what you look like when I told him I was coming to Rabat before I leave the country.” He was saying all this as though it was all perfectly normal that in a city the size of Rabat he would just buzz into town and FIND ME.

“Now you don’t want to pass up another chance like the chap in the market do you?” he asked looking like the cat who ate the cream.

“What? How…” Oh shit I am thinking perhaps the blog has become a bit too personal.

If you are interested the tale of the rest of our day and the visit to Todra Gorge along with photographs can be found in my archives of 4,5,6,7, and 9 June 2007. It was a fabulous trip but I have a word limit here so… Ciao.

Voices to Hear

Written by John from altjiranga mitjina




This week’s voice to hear is Ani Difranco.Ani defies characterization; she is a punk folk jazz singer/songwriter. She was born in Buffalo New York and grew up on the same typical radio pop bubblegum that we all do. Somewhere along the way she turned towards folk music.

Ani developed a very loyal fan base with her touring and the records she put out. Not willing to sign to a major label and have to design her sound to fit their needs she established her own label, Righteous Babe Records. All her music and some personally chosen others appear on her label. She has put out over 18 studio albums and 8 live albums.

As she grows as a musician and a person her sound has evolved. Her early sound was folk/punk/rock with a lot of times just her and her guitar. Now she is not above using complete bands and strings and whatever she feels will best suit the song.

She shines on her live material. Her live In Clip and Carnegie Hall albums are two of the best live albums by anyone. She still lives in Buffalo but recently has also taken a home in New Orleans. In fact she was in the crescent city just days before Katrina struck.

Ani’s lyrics are some of the most amazing song writing you’ll hear. A lot of her songs are told from a female point of view, about why she should have to conform to what others thinks she should be. Her newest album Reprise is more low key to some of more recent efforts and on first listen I was somewhat put off. But after few listens this album has become one of my favorites.

Ani has such a wide range of selection that there is definitely something there for you to like. Like the song says, she has “32 flavors.”


John of altjiranga mitjina apologizes upfront that this was a short column, but he just got word that his Dad is not doing very well and he’s on his way to Tennessee now. He’s just waiting for his brother to come meet him so he’s trying to keep himself occupied.

Love For Parker

Written by Melody from Slurping Life

Help Parker and have a chance to win a Hewlett Packard digital camera , printer with accessories package (photo paper not pictured) retail over $400, or one of other great prizes.

What follows is my interview with Parker's mom, Tammy...

Tammy, please tell us a little about Parker.

Parker is the youngest of our six children. He is 2-1/2 years old. Parker was born 6 weeks early, weighing a whopping 4.8 pounds, with chronic lung disease, underdeveloped upper airway, tethered spinal cord, Atrial Septal Defects (2 holes in his heart), an imperforate anus and an extra chromosome on his 21st pair...Down syndrome. He was, and is, simply beautiful.

When Parker was a day old his imperforate anus was discovered. The doctors had to suck all food out of his stomach. Parker was then life flighted to Children's hospital where an emergency colostomy was performed.

Age 3 months old Parker had surgery to release his tethered spinal cord. It was after this surgery that Parker's severe Pulmonary Hypertension was discovered. Due to PH, he is on many very expensive medications, and needs durable medical equipment such as an oxygen concentrator for oxygen 24/7 and a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) for his severely obstructive sleep apnea. Parker's initial pulmonary hypertension levels were the highest his cardiologist, a specialist in PH, had ever seen.

Because Parker has been so sick for so much of his life, he is still unable to crawl or walk. He receives speech therapy, physical therapy and occupational therapy, but on a limited basis. Our insurance company doesn't agree with Parker's prescribed frequency of therapies.

Parker is an amazing little man. Clever, happy and such a joy to have in our family. He's a fighter. We believe that Parker was put here for a reason, and it is our goal to provide the best medical care possible so that he can achieve his potential.

Parker certainly has been through a lot, how many surgeries has he had so far?

Altogether 5, which have included very long and scary PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) stays.

How many more surgeries to come?

Parker will have at least 2 more surgeries. One to correct the imperforate anus and another to reverse his colostomy. These are both exceptionally invasive procedures, and we must wait until Parker is healthy enough to withstand them. There is also a chance he will need surgery to repair the Atrial Septal Defects (the holes) in his heart.

While Parker is an adorable little boy, he also sounds tough. Does he get that from you?

Actually, I draw much of my strength from him.

Tell us about when you were told of Parker's medical problems.

During my pregnancy a routine ultrasound revealed that Parker's femur bones were short. This is a classic soft marker for Down syndrome. After several ultrasounds, we were given a 4%chance (based on the fact that I was 42 at the time and the shortened femurs) of Parker being born with Down Syndrome.

So you had no idea of Parker's medical issues before his birth, but were simply told of a small chance of his having Down Syndrome?

That's right. But the Down syndrome was a non-issue. Parker was our child, and we were totally in love with him. No other issues showed up during the ultrasounds. We thought Parker would be born very healthy, just as our other children had been.

Tell us about Parker's home life.

Parker is adored by two older brothers and three older sisters. Parker and his grandmother, my mom, have a magical relationship. The two of them are extremely close.

To help us keep Parker healthy we have him in what we call our "Safe Room". This is a Parker and Mom-Dad room only. His brothers and sisters may only come in one at a time after they have washed, sanitized and masked up.

Tammy, do you get out much? How do you find time for yourself in order to stay strong and cope?

I try to get out at least once a week just for me. Even if it's just a quick run to get a Dr. Pepper over crushed ice.....my biggest vice. We try to arrange one day per week with no doctor appointments, visits to the lab for blood draws, therapies, etc. It doesn't happen every week. There are some days that are very, very hard, and I have found that it helps to share my days on Parker's blog, Praying for Parker.

I keep a deep faith and tell myself that things are going to get better. That one day with God's help, Parker will be able to run and play like other little boys.

All of Parker's treatment sounds extremely expensive, how do you manage financially?

My husband is a Principal for our local school district. He is also working a second job. We have drained our savings account, taken out loans and wracked up quite the credit card debt.

We don't qualify for Parker to receive Social Security or Medicaid. We do have insurance, but unfortunately, we are part of a widely growing section of society whose insurance doesn't cover the medical bills. We don't make enough money to pay what our insurance company doesn't, and there are many, many things our insurance will not cover. It is a very large crack that many middle class families are finding themselves falling through. They wind up losing their savings, their homes and many times their marriages.

How can people reading this help Parker?

Right now the easiest way to help Parker would be to donate to "Love For Parker" , July 23 through July 27, by clicking the link or the "Love For Parker" button below. Not only will they be donating to Parker's medical fund, but they will have a chance to win a Hewlett Packard digital camera, printer and accessories package valued at over $400. And that's just one of many prizes that will be up for grabs during the love offering.

In addition to donating, bloggers could post this week letting their readers know about "Love For Parker" and include Parker's cute button which links to the love offering. (Below is the button code)

<center><div><a href="http://slurpinglife.typepad.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1312/846093317_2857082714_o.png " border="0" /></a></center></div>

Tammy, thank you for sharing your precious Parker with us.

I can't begin to tell you how incredible it feels to know that a group of people would get together and see in Parker the same potential WE see in him. Each and every time someone donates to Parker's medical fund, we feel the same exact way. We feel so incredibly blessed that there are others out there willing to give of their resources because they share in our hopes and dreams for Parker. We want Parker to be with us for a very long time. We are sincerely grateful for all of you who are able to see the very big potential in a very little guy.