Monday, July 23, 2007

Dear Editor

Written by Mama Zen from The Zen of Motherhood


Top Blog Mag

Dear Editor,

I recently received your call for submissions for the upcoming issue of Top Blog Mag. While I find “Thinking About” to be an intriguing theme with numerous possibilities, I’m afraid that I must decline to participate at this time.

You see, dear Editor, when I started thinking about what I’m thinking about, I found that I couldn’t think of a damn thing! Some would call it writer’s block, I guess. I prefer to think of it as having an uncluttered mind.

Anyway, I tried, I really did. I tried funny. I’m a stay-at-home mom; I trip over funny all day long. Just this morning, I caught my daughter beating the dog with a foam baseball bat. When I scolded her, she indignantly informed me, “Snoopy is pretending to be a piñata!” Great source material, but I just couldn’t make it work.

I tried serious. God knows there’s plenty of serious stuff to write about. Young men and women, barely out of their teens, dying overseas in a war that . . .oh wait, the electricians here. OK, and the current administration just keeps . . .hang on, telephone. And the hypocrisy of the whole Scooter . . .”coming!” Now, how the hell am I supposed to focus on the burning issues of our time, when I can barely concentrate on not burning the pork chops?

Finally, I tried personal. I don’t really do a lot of personal. I don’t write about the sweet, slow burn of whiskey. Or the twilight breeze against my bare back. Or mumbled words. Or fumbled buttons. Or the peculiar restlessness that seems to strike me this time of year. I just don’t. Too many people do personal far better than I do, so I just leave it alone.

As you can see, dear Editor, I am in writer’s hell. All I can think about is that blank screen taunting me and daring me to just try and fill it. And, I got nothing. Nothing at all.

I apologize for any inconvenience, and good luck with the upcoming issue.


Mama Zen

When she’s not rescuing puppies or starting kitchen fires, Mama Zen blogs through her writer’s block at The Zen of Motherhood.


The Good Woman said...

I had similar problems with this one... But a very original idea, Mama Zen - an anti-post!

The Farmers Wife said...

It is the same feeling you get when someone says "tell me a joke". the last thing you can think of is something funny.

"Snoopy is pretending to be a piñata" has got to be one of the best lines ever. Where does she get this stuff from? I have a feeling she is going to grow up to be a comic genius.

Absolutely Bananas said...

oh you have captured the stay-at-home mom's paradox PERFECTLY! Love this!

amaras_mom said...

I was thinking about what I should write in response to your letter. I'm stuck.

You? You make writers block sound intriguing!

Mama Zen said...

What kind, generous souls you all are! Thank you!

bellevelma said...

Awesome! I'll have to email my husband about this because if I say it outloud, the dog "pretending to be a pinata" my son will hear it (he's got bionic ears) and will think it's a good idea to try at our house. Only we don't have any foam bats so that could be bad.

nutmeg said...

You are the BOMB, Mama Zen!

WhyMommy said...

Nicely done!

shauna said...

As someone else so aptly put it, the anti-post! You're too clever for your body, too clever for your body, too clever... Your blog is da bomb, by the way. I'm just lovin' it to death!

Misssy M said...

That's not writer's block- that's "mental plate spinning".

Your daughter is an evil genius, btw.

Mama Zen said...

"Mental plate spinning . . ."

I like it!

Loving all these great comments!

Amanda said...

How masterful, to take a block and wield it with such daring. I feel humbled and awed by your creative stagnation and its brilliant translation to genius.

Well done, Mama Zen, well done.

Shawn said...

Ha! Very cute. Well done, too. And, of course, we can write about being pathetic all day long, but who wants to read that ... oh, wait, I do!

Mama Zen said...

"Pathetic," I've definitely got covered!

AuthorMomWith Dogs said...

If only I could write that well with writer's block... :)

Jen E said...

My gosh, you are talented, woman!!! Thoroughly enjoyed it!!

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