Monday, April 9, 2007


Written by Sara from Suburban Oblivion

I came across a blog last night belonging to a girl I went to school with from 3rd grade on. We were friends when we were younger, but around 7th grade we became more like rivals. She got nasty towards me at times, and seemed to enjoy humiliating me. Sometimes it would take the form of barbed comments yelled across the hallway, others more subtle. I never will forget the time she sat next to me on the bus and asked me to help her put makeup on her neck to cover the hickeys she’d gotten from her then boyfriend. Did I happen to mention he was also my ex-boyfriend, a fact she was more than well aware of? At 28 I can look back and say “What a bitch!”. At 15 I hid my anger and helped her with the makeup. I wasn’t good at standing up for myself back then.

In October of 2005 I went back to my hometown for my best friends wedding. This girl was there, and apparently upset she had not been in the bridal party, but I tried to overlook it and be friendly with her. After all, we were all adults now right? She was quite nice to me during the trip, and we spent some time together before I left. I went home both happy for my best friend’s nuptials, and feeling relief that an old feud was finally buried. That was until a few months after my return, word got back that she had been spreading rather nasty rumors about my visit. As the saying goes, the more things change, the more they remain the same.

Then as luck would have it I happened to see her Myspace profile on our class reunion page at that site. She had just posted a rant, thinly veiled but obviously about a relative’s children’s’ father(s), talking about absent parents. The lady in question has an illegitimate child of her own. Whose father is in jail. For drugs. The irony of the situation was too much to bear. I opened up my blog editor and started typing. Oh, the things that came forth; 15 years worth of pent up anger in a single blog post. Finally I had the platform and the guts to say all the things I’d ever wanted to- about how she’d treated me, about the choices in life that left her with few friends, a broken family, and a future of working low end jobs as a single mother. I’d show her, as I glared down from my gilded nest and beautiful life she’d once told me she was so jealous of.

As I went to hit ‘submit’, something happened. All the anger left, and all that was left was pity. I felt pity for her and her ranting that was obviously rooted in her anger over her own situation. I couldn’t do this to her, shame and humiliate her the way she had me so many times growing up. It would feel good for the moment, but in the end I’d be no better than she was. I closed my blog editor and shut down my laptop and went to bed. As I lay there listening to my husband snore, I realized the old saying is true. Sometimes a life well-lived really is the best revenge.


Robyn said...

((((applause)))) and more ((((applause))))!

Mahesha Iddagoda said...

A Really nice story from real life experience. How strange and wonderful it is, that we learn to forgive than taking revenge with our own life experiences.

Surviving Motherhood said...

Well done you, it does make you the bigger person.

I'm not sure I could have shown the same restraint!

J at said...

What a great post. I'm glad you didn't bow to her level, but I'm sure it felt GREAT to get it all out on 'paper'. :)

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