Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…

by Sarah from In the Trenches of Mommyhood

I am contemplating a major life change. No, I’m not having another child,

or an affair,

or a sex-change operation…

I am thinking about a career choice that will thrust me back into full-time employment for the first time in 6 years (I currently work part-time).

Except now, unlike 6 years ago, I have 3 children.

You see, my husband and I have been fiscally irresponsible and immature. We have no savings, no retirement, no emergency fund. We live paycheck-to-paycheck.

Except now, we have 3 children.

We bought into society’s mania of instant gratification. Wholeheartedly. We have 4 televisions in our house, we drive 2 nice cars, our children are fed and nattily attired and we’ve wanted for nothing.

Neither have our 3 children.

But, it’s gotta stop.

Our financial situation right now is equivalent to a speeding train about to derail. We’re broke.

And we have 3 children.

So who will be affected when I start a new full-time job? Everyone in the family, of course.

Especially our 3 children.

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(I confess, I am being a bit melodramatic. Though I am sad and angered, the timing of this is such that I will be able to accept a full-time offer knowing that my children are being very well cared for.)

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Sarah had a mind once. Now she has children. She’s a Central Massachusetts mommy to three adorable, loving, loud, impatient, only angelic when sleeping, little boyz, ages 6, 3 and 2. And she’s a part-time (for now) corporate paralegal. Although life is hectic, demanding and downright crazy In the Trenches of Mommyhood, Sarah thinks that life is still good…especially after she’s had a few glasses of pinot grigio. http://sarahviz.blogspot.com/

Blog Review: Live.Awake

The Blog: Live.Awake

The Reviewer: Sarah from In The Trenches of Mommyhood

The blog I’m reviewing this week is called “Live. Awake” written by married couple Ben and Heather Cotton.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I could immediately sense this was a Christian-living/family blog. My assumption was confirmed as soon as I clicked on the “About” button. Ben, a Pastor, and Heather, his wife are keeping this blog as a reminder for them, and all of us, to LIVE, not just sail through LIFE.

DESIGN:
The design of this blog is pretty plain. That is, no bells and whistles or frills. Simple, basic, to-the-point. Very easy on the eyes, but certainly not containing any sort of “WOW” factor.

CONTENT:
Heather seems like a down-to-earth mother. Some of her tips and ideas are useful (see Job Jar entry) and it’s interesting to read about her childhood growing up in a family with six (!) children.

Ben’s written sermons and Bible teachings were a little dry. They’re not something I would choose to read. That being said though, all his entries are clear, concise and well-written.

BEST AND WORST:
Best—The Cottens are a typical American family raising 3 children in North Carolina. They are truthful, honest and real. And not too preachy, for a Christian-centered blog. I got quite a kick out of Ben’s post titled Reconnecting With Family. He’s so down-to-earth.

Worst—There’s too much mouse-clicking to do to read the posts! A reader can’t get a feel for what a post is about until they actually click on it, which takes them to the entire post, including comments. I’m a skimmer. Give me a little bit on the main page, and let me decide whether I’m going to click for more…

BLOGROLL-WORTHY:
I have a feeling that the Cottens have a following from their families and Ben’s congregation. Again, this blog didn’t have that “wow” factor for me to include them on my blogroll.

SCORE:

SUMMARY:
A Christian family’s blog about “living life with eyes wide open.”

What Exactly Are You Watering?

Written by Sarah from In the Trenches of Mommyhood

Dear Homeowner:

I admit. I am jealous of your lush, green lawn. I admire the fact that you take such good care of your property by fertilizing, weeding, and most importantly, watering your tropical paradise.

But I have a question for you. Why are you watering the sidewalk and road with your complex irrigation/lawn sprinkler system? Now, I’m no professional, but I would think that the spray would be better served on your grass instead of concrete. Just a hunch.

You see, I run. At 6a.m. Because it’s the only frickin’ time I have alone to do so. I enjoy the serenity at that hour. However, your sprinklers? Are on. And are spraying me. As I run past your house IN THE ROAD.

So could you do a little maneuvering maybe? Save yourself a little money and have your sprinklers actually water your grass?

This cranky soaked wanna-be runner would sure appreciate it.

Sarah knows she had a mind once. Now she has children. She’s a mommy to 3 adorable, loving, loud, impatient, only angelic when sleeping, little boyz. And a wife. And a part-time corporate paralegal. Although life is hectic, demanding and downright crazy In the Trenches of Mommyhood, Sarah thinks that life is still good…Especially after she’s had a few glasses of pinot grigio.

Blog Review: The Life and Times of Gran

The Blog: The Life and Times of Gran

The reviewer: Sarah from In The Trenches of Mommyhood

My latest assignment from TopBlogMag: to review a blog entitled “The Life and Times of Gran.” Great, I thought. It’s probably going to be something akin to what my own mother would write if she had a blog!

First Impression: My first impression was *yawwwwwwwwwn*. Not to be mean, but pics of the grandkids’ new school clothes (not even on the children) just didn’t lure me in. And right away my inner Grammar Police noticed an error with the word “brightens” on the right hand side introduction, although Gran warns that “this blog is far from perfection by the educational standards of writing.” She’s right.

Design: The blog is a basic Blogger template. The sparkly “Hello” in the corner is kind of distracting. Not a lot of originality here.

Content: What content? This is mostly a picture blog. There are a lot of “Photo Hunters” entries (whatever that is). Once in a while Gran gets reflective and philosophical, but those entries are few and far between.

Best and Worst:
Best: Gran definitely loves her children and grandchildren. This is evident in her writing. And I applaud her for taking the leap and starting her very own blog for “e-journaling randomly” (her words).
Worst: I’m thinking that this blog would only be interesting to the people in Gran’s life who actually know her.

Blogroll-worthy? This blog isn’t riveting by any means, so no, I wouldn’t add it to my own blogroll. But I’m sure Gran’s family loves to read it!

Rating Out of 10:
Gran is a Christian woman who loves God, her life and her family. This blog is definitely a reflection of that.

Blog Review - I've Got LWA

The Blog: I've Got LWA

The Reviewer: In The Trenches of Mommyhood

When Heather e-mailed me in early July with the blog I would be reviewing, I was psyched—my first TopBlogMag review! I immediately clicked on the site, full of optimism and ready to get started.

And then…gulp…I felt like I was in way over my head. I confess, I mainly read “mommy blogs”, and I’ve Got LWA is definitely no such thing.

First Impression: My first impression was definitely confusion. First of all, I’m not quite sure why the author would even submit this blog for review in

the first place, as it is a very personal account of her past. So who am I (or her readers in general) to judge?

Design: The blog entries are laid out in Parts, and then Chapters (much like a book). Each entry is listed on the right hand side, making it easy and convenient for the reader to see the author’s work thus far. However, it would be nice if there were some sort of summary as to the blog’s content. And there is no author profile for the reader

to feel any connection with the author.

Content: The title “I’ve Got LWA” certainly gives no indication of the content. What the heck is LWA? But upon further review, the blog’s content can best be summed up in the author’s entry “Introduction”. Needless to say, this blog is definitely a heavy read.

Part I of the blog is titled “Ignition”—dealing with an unacceptable illness (candida) and the start of the author’s healing journey.

Part II is titled “Shifting Up”, which the author describes as her “true opening to infinity.”

Part II is “Apocatastasis” (huh?).

As a lifelong member of the Grammar Police, I must mention that I am impressed with the grammar, editing and use of REALLY BIG WORDS (see Apocatastasis above) on this blog. It’s nice to read a blog without typos and grammatical errors, even if I really don’t “get” the actual content (and *ahem* have to use a dictionary while reading).

Best and Worst:

Best: The simple and clean and easy to read layout.

Worst: Although the chapters are listed, each entry sometimes links to a future entry. For example, if you’re reading Chapter 1.2, there are links within that particular Chapter to Chapters 7.3, 5.4 and 5.1. This makes it hard to keep the continuity flowing, and also makes it very confusing for the reader.

Blogroll-worthy? Sorry, this blog just wasn’t for me.

Rating Out of 10:

On Having 3 Boyz

Written by Sarah In the Trenches of Mommyhood.

Hubby and I met with a fertility specialist in order to conceive our first child. Ok, that sentence sounds kind of weird and kinky. Let me rephrase: I was prescribed the fertility drug Clomid to aid Hubby and me in the conception of our firstborn. We chose to not find out the sex of our baby. It was like holding a festively wrapped Christmas present that you aren't allowed to open. Yet, all myths, old wives tails and Chinese calendars indicated GIRL. Lydia was to be her name.

So, needless to say, it was definitely shocking when, after hearing that first newborn cry and sobbing with relief, Hubby shouted over the c-section drape to ask, "What is it?!" and the response was "A boy!" Huh? What did you say?

2 joyful years pass with our son. Another appointment with the fertility specialist for more Clomid. Another pregnancy. Another opportunity to hold the Christmas gift and not open it. A totally different pregnancy this time around, so this one has to be a girl, right?? Lydia was to be her name.

So, needless to say, it was definitely shocking when, after hearing that first newborn cry of our second child and sobbing with relief, Hubby proceeded to peek over the c-section drape to announce to the entire operating room, "It's a boy and he has HUGE balls!", proceeding to crack everyone up. Except me. Pure shock and disbelief. What did you say? Another boy? How could it be?

A mere 3 months pass. A wedding. An overnight away from our two little boyz. Certainly no Clomid involved. Just lots of alcohol.

6 more weeks pass. A pregnancy test. I call Hubby crying.

We're incredulous. This one HAS to be my long-awaited daughter. Lydia was to be her name. This time, we furiously unwrap that Christmas present without hesitation. I'll just let the picture speak for itself:

Ummm, excuse me Miss Ultrasound Technician, but what the hell did you say? Apparently, if I want another female to join me In the Trenches, I'm just going to have to get a dog and name her Lydia!

In The Trenches of Mommyhood. I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

Written by In The Trenches Of Mommyhood

When you become a mommy, the oh-so-cool rock anthems that kept you moving… “Pour some sugar on me”; “Roxxxx-annne”; “She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean”; “I love rock and roll, put anotha dime in the jukebox baby”; “Because the great-test love of all, is happening to meeeee”…Just kidding on that last one. Really! [Although I have to admit that I watched the Being Bobby Brown marathon on BravoTV while I was in the hospital after having my third son, and if that show wasn’t the epitome of a train wreck that you couldn’t tear yourself away from watching, then I don’t know what was. But I digress.]…suddenly morph into “We’re yourrrrr backyard friends, the Backyardigans”; “Backpack, backpack” and “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Streeeeet”.

So in the interest of saving my sanity (and to shield myself from EVER again having to listen to another Wiggles song), I figured, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, so I introduced my children to more, shall we say, tolerable (or so I thought) music, like Laurie Berkner, and even the Cars soundtrack (“Life is a highway, I’m gonna ride it allllll night long, yeah yeah yeah yeah”). Yeah, well, my boys’ latest musical discovery is the Blue Sky Sparklin’ Day CD by Elizabeth McMahon (a/k/a Mrs. McPuppet). Holy shit! This music is like crack for your ears. The little ditties STICK in your head all day and night. This week, I’ve found myself wandering aimlessly about the house, singing about “la la la la la la-sagne” and frickin’ hippos “who came all the way from Africa”.

MAKE IT STOP!! [As she curls up in the fetal position, rocking slowly back and forth, sucking her thumb to the strains of “C-O-W spells cow, N-O-W spells now, H-O-W spells how, how now brown cow, moo cow.”] I think it’s pretty safe to say, I’ve been beat. Badly.

In the Trenches of Mommyhood. I had a mind once. Now I have small children.

Imagine

Written by Sarah from In The Trenches Of Mommyhood

Do you ever imagine yourself not being HERE RIGHT NOW, but being somewhere else? I guess what I mean is, do you have a “happy place” in your mind? I do. And hey, apparently Gwen Stefani does too!

“If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world…”

I retreat to my own private “happy place” pretty much on a regular basis. Now before you think I’m a weird-o who hears voices in my head and lives in some sort of fantasy world, let me set you straight. You see, I’m a MOM.

So when the kids are screaming (or whining or fighting or spilling, take your pick), the house is trashed, the dishes aren’t done, and the laundry is piled up sky-high, it’s actually refreshing to take a step back from the chaos, to tune out my surroundings, and to imagine myself on a beach, soaking up the sun (with SPF 15, of course), reading a good book, with a tropical frozen (alcohol-laden) drink in my hand…..

Before I crash back into reality, heave a sigh, and get back to my business of being MOM again. And you know what? Having a vivid imagination to create your ideal “happy place” is cheaper than both wine and therapy!

Why Every Trip to Target Is at Least $50...

OR WHY THE WALTON AND DAYTON FAMILIES ARE BILLIONAIRES

Written by Sarah from In The Trenches Of Mommyhood

If you’re anything like me (a busy mom), you KNOW the lure of which I speak: Wal-Mart and Target. So follow along with my inner monologue as I take a trip to Wal-Mart during my lunch hour.

“Wow. Starburst jellybeans are only $1.63 here. I paid $1.99 in the grocery store! I should stock up….”

“Hmmm…they kinda have cute underwear here. God, is this what I’ve been reduced to? Buying underwear for myself at Wal-Mart? I.MUST.RESIST.”

“St. Patrick’s Day is this weekend. I should buy green shirts for the boyz….”

“Wow, they have all their summer stuff out. Flip-flops! Ooohhhhh….sparkly ones for me!”

“And sneakers for Baby on clearance. $6? Who cares if they don’t fit. They’re only $6…”

“Hmm…Eldest should have a watch. He’s always asking what time it is….”

“And sunglasses for the boyz! If I don’t buy them now, they’ll be all picked over…”

“Where did I leave my Tupperware tray with the handle thingy? I bet you they have them here….”

“And DVDs would be great gifts for the Easter baskets….”
“And I’m out of Oil of Olay…”
“And plastic trays for only $1? I’ll buy 3…”

And so on and so on and so on. (As I sit here hoping you’re nodding your head in agreement right now and not shaking it in disbelief thinking “Go back to whore island, you Wal-Mart Slut.”)

And so we (being all of us moms collectively) stand in line with our new, shiny objects and heave a sigh of resignation and disgust as the total comes to $73.64, because we only went in there in the first place to simply buy aluminum foil and PullUps.