Written by J from Thinking About
Growing up, my mom was always the kind of parent that we could talk to about anything…at least, she wanted to be. But me? I was too embarrassed. I was embarrassed to tell her when I had my period for the first time, when I had my first kiss, when I had problems with my first boyfriend, all of these things. I’m not sure WHY I was so embarrassed to talk about these things, but perhaps I was afraid that she would think less of me, that she wouldn’t understand, that she would know that I wasn’t perfect, etc. Strange the kind of pressure that kids can put upon themselves. I hated puberty…hated that people knew my breasts were developing, hated that I couldn’t hide it anywhere. (And believe me, I pretty much developed between Thanksgiving and Christmas one year…there was no hiding it.)
One nice thing about being a mom myself is seeing how my daughter is different than I am. Sure, she gets embarrassed by things…she doesn’t really WANT to wear a bra, she argues with me when I tell her it’s time (and believe me, it’s time) that she start wearing it every day. I’m not sure if that’s embarrassment, though, or that she says it feels funny, and she doesn’t like it. Luckily, her best friend wears a bra every day, so at least she has support from her.
From time to time, though, I find myself wondering about nudity…we’re not a household of nudists or anything, but we used to shower with Maya, and she grew up with seeing us naked when we changed our clothes, etc. So she has never been embarrassed to be naked in front of us. I wonder when that will change? I thought it would change when she started to develop, that she would be embarrassed to have us see her changing body…because that’s how I felt. Nope. Not one bit. She just goes along like always, and we don’t mention it, and neither does she, and in some ways it’s handy…if she’s been camping or something, it’s easy to look for ticks, for example. ;)
Honestly, as long as it doesn’t bother her, it doesn’t bother me. I hope she’ll be that forthright when talking to me about boys and so on. I would love to be there for her in a way I didn’t allow my mom to be. I’m not going to hold my breath though. Just in case.