Me and My Foreshadow

Written by Mama Zen from The Zen of Motherhood

A funny thing happened to me on my way to Edie. I ended up Lynette, instead.

I’m talking about Desperate Housewives, of course. A weekly break from reality that has become my reality. A cast of suburban stereotypes that I find strangely reflective of my own journey through life.

I guess I should explain.

First, you have Edie. Single and basically childless, she’s all about herself, her career, and . . . herself. In my younger days, I was pretty much Edie. But then, I got married and became . . .

Gabrielle. Young and sexy and very, very spoiled. Nice clothes, nice house, hot husband (ok, she’s divorced now, but you get the idea). Been there, done that. Good times, such good times, until I got pregnant and decided that I must become . . .

Bree. Obsessively perfect super mom. Gourmet meals. Spotless house. Model children (at first glance, anyway). All without a hair out of place. I accomplished this lofty, ego-driven goal . . .for about five minutes! Then, just as I was about to drive myself stark raving, soap-opera quality mad, reality set in, and I became . . .

Lynette. Here, we have life as a stay-at-home mom (all right, last season, work with me here). Sippy cups and sweatpants. Diapers and dishes. Chaos and crisis management. This is not Hallmark motherhood. This is adoring your kids, but realizing and admitting that motherhood is, generally, a thankless bitch. Good thing I like Lynette; these days, when I look in the mirror, that’s who I see.

Finally, there’s Susan. Sweet, loopy, artistic Susan. When I watch Susan in action each week, I feel like I’m getting a glimpse of my future. Why? Well, it’s not because she has an enviable creative career, though I am envious. And, it’s certainly not because she’s gorgeous, though I envy that, too. No, I see my future self in Susan because she is the mother of a teenage daughter and ditzy as all hell. Ten years from now, when motherhood has taken what’s left of my mind and left me a blithering idiot, I will be Susan.

Who says you can’t learn anything from trashy TV?

Mama Zen spends her days immersed in suburban housewifery and child rearing. She chronicles her efforts to figure out how the hell THAT happened at www.thezenofmotherhood.blogspot.com.